


What Makes a Family?

by BeeGeee



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Romance, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:26:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26171923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeeGeee/pseuds/BeeGeee
Summary: Following her break up with Willow, Tara finds out she is pregnant.This is a re-write of the BTVS series from the second half of season 6. Set shortly after the events of Wrecked (6x10), and is written as though Giles decided not to return to England at the end of Tabula Rasa.
Relationships: Tara Maclay/Willow Rosenberg
Comments: 25
Kudos: 62





	1. Mystical Pregnancy Can Occur

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers - I did not create and do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or any of it's characters.

Tara sat on her bed in the dorm room, hugging her knees to her chest. Moonlight illuminated her tear stained face. 

It had been just over a month since she had left Willow. Nothing was the same. And now, as she looked down at the plastic stick beside her on the bed, she knew nothing would ever be the same again. 

\--------------------------------------------

The next day.

Giles was sorting through books at The Magic Shop, clearing the back table of yesterday’s research, when he heard the bell above the front door ring. He looked up to see Tara making her way inside the shop. 

“Tara! Good to see you, it’s been too long” Giles put down the books he was sorting and made his way towards the witch. 

“H-hi Mr. Giles” Tara replied from behind her light brown hair falling in front of her face. 

Giles’ smile quickly turned to a concerned frown as he got closer and noticed the young woman’s hair was hiding red and swollen eyes. 

“Dear god, Tara are you alright?”

Tara could only shake her head, as Giles guided her to a seat at the back table. Giles sat opposite the vulnerable looking woman as he handed her a hanky from his pocket, one of the many he used to clean his glasses. Tara accepted the kind gesture, taking the hanky and dabbing her nose. 

“Is Anya here?” the witch asked, nervously scanning the shop. 

“Day off”

“OK, good” Tara replied, relaxing a bit in her seat as she fiddled with the hanky in her hand. 

“Is this about Willow? I know it has been a difficult separation for you both and I must say…”

“It’s not that” Tara interrupted, lifting her head to look at the concerned man in front of her. 

“Well it’s not just that”  
“Mr. Giles, I’m sorry but I didn’t know who else to talk to. Last night I took a test, and I’ve just come from my doctor and….” Tara couldn’t finish the sentence. She felt like she was going to have a panic attack. All she could do was try to breath. 

Giles leaned in and took the witches hand “Tara are you sick? You can tell me”

Tara shook her head and looked pleadingly at Giles, willing him to say what she couldn’t. But the watcher just looked confused “Tara, I don’t understand. What’s happened?”

Tara took a deep breath and forced the words out “I’m….I’m p-p-pregnant”, before promptly bursting into tears. 

“Oh” Giles retracted his hand in surprise “I didn’t think…I didn’t know…you’ve been dating? Since Willow?” Giles knew his shock and confusion were obvious. He immediately wished he had responded differently, especially when he saw the embarrassed expression on Tara’s face in response to his line of questioning.

“Mr. Giles that’s the thing, I haven’t b-been with an-an…” Tara sighed in frustration, hating that her stutter was so prominent at this moment. She took another deep breath and tried again “It’s only been Willow, there has been no-one since Willow.”

The watcher’s confused expression remained, “Tara are you saying…”

“That’s why I came to you Mr. Giles, I think somehow…” Tara hesitated

“You think this is Willow’s child? Willow and your child?” Giles interjected. 

Tara nodded finally allowing herself to exhale knowing now it was out in the open “I did a test, an old wiccan test for pregnant women. It’s traditionally used for determining paternity and gender. I made a witch’s ladder out of hair and one of Willow’s rings and when I dangled it over my belly it rotated, three circles clockwise and then three circles counter clockwise. If the test is right it’s Willows and...” Tara touched her belly “…It’s a girl”

“Right” Giles stated still in astonishment. 

“I thought maybe you’ve heard of this sort of thing before, with two women. I mean how would this even be possible?” Tara's words were urging Giles to provide her with some wisdom or guidance. 

Giles thought for a moment and then abruptly rose up from his chair. He quickly made his way towards a bookshelf, looking for something in particular. 

“It’s rare, but not unheard of in witchcraft. There have been pregnancies aided by magic, maybe even between two women…” Giles searched the shelves as he spoke. “…And you are both powerful witches. I mean Willow has shown…” Giles stopped himself mid-sentence, glancing over at Tara only to see her drop her head down towards her lap again. Giles made a strange coughing sound and refocused on his book search.

Giles tried to move from his previous statement as he scanned the shelves “…but an unplanned pregnancy through magic, I’ve never heard of that” 

Giles stopped what he was doing, seeming to take note of something important within his own words. He took off his glasses and turned back to face Tara who wore her own knowing look. 

“Tara, I know Willow was going through a dark time before you left and she was channelling magic in foolish ways, but to purposefully impregnate you without your knowledge? I can’t imagine…”

“I couldn’t have imagined so many things she did, why not this?” Tara asked with a flash of uncharacteristic anger. The pain of what Willow had done in the recent past was still so raw for the heartbroken witch. 

Giles didn’t know what to say. He put his glasses back on and refocused on the books. 

“Aha!” Giles exclaimed, a bit too excitedly for the moment and leading Tara to jump in her seat. 

Giles rushed back to Tara with a heavy book in his hands. He flung it onto the table and skimmed through the pages, quickly finding what he was looking for. He picked up the open book and placed it in front of Tara as he stood behind her to look over the pages with her. 

“Look at this chapter and tell me if you see anything familiar”.

Tara stared down at the page, the title of the chapter Mystical Pregnancy drawing her attention immediately. She eagerly skimmed through a few pages before stopping at something that she recognised. 

“Giles look at this spell” 

Giles leaned over the woman’s shoulder and reached his hand towards the page, reading out the words as he underlined them with his finger “The spirits of life spell is used to assist fertility in infertile couples, taking the light of life from one and placing it into the other. Used alongside an expression of love, mystical pregnancy can occur”. 

Giles took a seat next to and asked, “Is this a spell you or Willow used?”

“Well, not exactly, but remember Willow’s simulated sunlight spell?” Giles nodded, encouraging Tara to continue “Willow has never gotten it to work, but it’s been like her pet project. She was always tinkering with it, sometimes at night….in our bedroom…sometimes before we…” Tara’s inflection implied there was more to the story that she didn’t intend to say out loud. 

Giles caught on and a red hue began to form on both their faces as they each looked away from one another before refocusing. 

“So, you think Willow could have confused the purpose of the spells she used as the foundation of her simulated sunlight spell…accidently developing a potent fertility spell?” Giles asked.

Tara sighed “It’s not like she has the greatest track record for accuracy when it comes to harnessing her power. Remember the whole everyone forgetting who they are saga?”

“Yes, unfortunately. I still can’t look Anya in the eye” Giles quickly continued, not wishing to elaborate “Willow does yield great power, but even if these incantations did occur close to inter……ah, umm…. expressions of love there would have to be a purposeful intention in the room for the impregnation to occur”

Tara’s face contorted into an awkward grimace “maybe that wouldn’t be such a stretch. I mean there have been times, esp-p-p-ecially during and around…. in-intimate moments, where I had fantasised about what it might be like to have a more with Willow, like a baby” 

Giles appeared surprised by this confession. Tara quickly corrected “Not now! Not at this age and not in this way, but someday, with Willow, I used to think about it” Tara’s emphasis on the past tense did not go unnoticed by Giles. 

Giles took a moment to absorb this information “Well it’s one hell of a coincidence, but it is possible that with your combined powers, Willow’s incantations around the time of certain…intimate behaviours and your desires to create a family some day…” 

“Mystical pregnancy can occur” Tara chimed in. 

The watcher and the witch sat back in their chairs, unable to speak for several moments.

Tara eventually broke the silence “What do I do Giles?”

“I can’t answer that, I mean a woman’s right to choose…”

“No” Tara interrupted hastily. “I don’t mean that, I don’t think I could, I mean what do I do about Willow? What do I tell her?” Tara looked pleadingly at Giles, once again willing him to have the guidance she craved. 

“I can’t answer that either Tara” Giles responded, kindness in his voice, seeing how lost the woman in front of him was.

“She’s just so…and I’ve just…” Tara stood up from the table and began pacing back and forth. 

“You’re worried what this will do for her sobriety” Giles stated knowingly. 

Tara stopped her pacing “I don’t think she can handle this. I don’t know that I can handle this. I mean, even if it wasn’t intentional and maybe I had something to with it this just reminds me of…I mean it just feels like another…violation”

The pain was evident in Tara’s voice as she continued “I don’t even know if I feel safe with her around the baby. I mean what she did to Dawn, what if she started using magic again? what else could she do?” 

Tara felt shame and sadness in how she was speaking about the woman she still loved, but she was already feeling her protective motherly instincts kicking in. She placed her hands on her belly once more.

“I understand your hesitation” Giles stated softly as he now stood to pace around the room “Willow is in a very delicate place right now. While I can’t imagine Willow would do anything to intentionally harm you or the baby, she has shown that she is not always in control”. 

Tara nodded slowly as the watcher continued “Whatever you decide Tara, I will support you. But you don’t have to decide anything right now. This is all still a shock and I’m sure the answers will become clearer with time. Until then, your secret is safe with me and I will do everything I can to keep you safe, both of you” Giles gestured towards Tara’s belly where her hand still rested. 

Tara gave a small smile “Thank you”


	2. Progress

Willow stood over the sink in the Summers’ kitchen, vigorously scrubbing a pan while muttering under her breath “what the heck is on this thing…. argh was somebody cooking glue on this?”

“Hey Will!” Buffy called out to the red-head as she strolled through the back door, dropping her Doublemeat Palace hat and bag on the kitchen island.

“Hey Buff” Willow greeted her friend, not looking up from the work at hand “how was work?”.

“Greasy” Buffy replied as she went over to investigate what the witch was struggling with in the sink “Getting down with some housework, are we?”

“Step 4 of the 12-step program I’ve devised. Get used to doing the boring stuff the old-fashioned way, sans magic. I do miss the dishes that self-distruct though” Willow said as she looked in disgust at the sticky substance now stretching from the pan to the sponge she slowly pulled away.

Buffy smiled at her best friend, it was nice to see Willow acting like her old self again “I’m proud of you Will, I know it’s been a tough few weeks”.

Willow placed the pan to the side pulled off her dish gloves, finally turning to face her friend “Thanks Buffy. I’m getting there. No more shakiness, I feel like I can pay attention in class again and I don’t wake up thinking about magic anymore” Willow said this with a hesitant optimism in her voice.

Willow continued “And I was thinking, maybe I could start coming to The Magic Box again?” Willow played nervously with the fruit bowl on the kitchen island, trying her best to act casual.

Buffy looked at the red-head, somewhat surprised “Really? You don’t think it would be a bit…tempting?”

Willow began pleading her case, like she had practiced “Buffy, I am facing temptation every day, not matter where I am. And doing my Scooby research here is fine but there is only so much I can do without the books and the rest of the gang. Plus, keeping busy helps.” It didn’t quite come out the way she had planned, but the main points were all there.

Buffy knew she couldn’t keep Willow wrapped in cotton wool, and she had seen how committed Willow had been to her sobriety since the car accident with Dawn.

“If you think it’s the right time Will, then I trust you”

Willow sighed with relief and gave Buffy one of her signature goofy smiles. 

“But supervised visits only…for now” the blonde quickly added.

Willow nodded her head “of course! Thanks Buffy” Willow knew it wasn’t easy for Buffy to trust her again.

“We're meeting there tomorrow night to talk about this icky demon dude I came across”

“I’ll be there” Willow responded enthusiastically.

Just then Dawn entered the kitchen, making her way to the fridge. She was still sporting her arm cast, serving as a painful reminder for Willow and Buffy of how bad things had gotten just a few weeks ago.

“Hey Buffy” Dawn greeted her sister, then added bitterly “Oh, hey Willow”. 

“Hey Dawny, you want me to make you something” Willow replied, the overcompensation was evident in her voice.

“No, I’m just getting some milk before bed” Dawn stated as she pulled out the milk carton from the fridge. An awkward silence filled the room as Dawn tried to open to milk carton with her one free hand.

Willow reached for the carton to try to help open it “here, let me”.

Dawn forcefully pulled the carton away from the red-head “It’s fine, just give me a minute…”

“Dawn she’s just trying to help” Buffy stated, trying to defuse the situation.

Dawn just rolled her eyes.

Willow interjected “Buffy it’s fine, I get it”.

Dawn felt a pang of regret when she saw the hurt on Willow’s face. She wanted to forgive Willow, she could see how hard she was working on her sobriety. But today her cast was making her itch like crazy and she didn’t have anyone to take it out on but Willow.

Dawn changed the subject as she finally got the milk carton open and moved to pour it in a glass “Buffy, can I go out tomorrow after school?” she asked her sister.

“That depends, where are you going?” Buffy asked suspiciously.

Dawn looked nervously over at Willow before she spoke “ah, Tara was going to take me to the movies. She said she could pick me up from school so we can catch the three-thirty at the Megaplex”

Willow tried to hide her reaction to this by busying herself with the fruit bowl again. She knew Dawn and Tara would go on outings at least once a week. She liked that Dawn and Tara were so close, but she couldn’t deny her jealousy that Dawn got to spend time with the woman she missed so much.

“Yeah Dawn that’s fine” Buffy replied before she added “But Tara will have to drop you off at The Magic Box when you’re done because Willow and I will be there for a Scooby meeting”

“You’re going to The Magic Box?” Dawn asked Willow, who was now awkwardly peeling an orange. Willow just nodded with a tight-lipped smile.

“Is that OK with you Will, Tara dropping her off?” Buffy asked, realising that Tara dropping Dawn back to The Magic Box might lead to an awkward interaction.

“Of course, I mean Tara is part of your life. You should go and have fun Dawny” Willow tried to hide her own excitement that this might mean an incidental meeting with her ex-girlfriend. They had briefly seen each other over the last few weeks, but it was always tense and short-lived. Willow longed for Tara to see the progress she was making, secretly hoping it could help win her back.

Dawn gave the witch an appreciative smile “Ok I’m off to bed. Goodnight”. With that Dawn left the room with her glass of milk.

Buffy groaned “ergh…what are the chances I’m cleaning up mouldy milk cup in a week.”

“Ah the joys of looking after a teen” Willow responded.

“I’m off to have a shower, then bed. You heading up soon Will?”

“Yep, I think I’ve had about enough manual labour for one night” Willow stated as she followed Buffy out of the kitchen knowing she would be spending the next hour picking out an outfit for tomorrow.


	3. The Cat is Out of the Bag

Willow sat at the back table of The Magic Box tugging at her pink shirt, lost in her own thoughts… _'why did I pick this shirt, I look like a pre-schooler. I should have picked the blue. When are Tara and Dawn going to get here anyway? I wonder if she’ll even come in'_

Willow tried to refocus on what Giles was saying “…the demon’s radioactive power source creates the glow in the dark appearance you described Buffy”

“Radioactive demon?” Willow queried, finally engaged in the conversation at hand. 

“Indeed” Giles confirmed.  
Xander jumped in “Not to get all panicky but…Chernobyl anyone, do I have to worry about growing a second head anytime soon?” 

“Yeah Giles, I got pretty close to this thing” Buffy added with a concerned look. 

“It’s unclear whether the doses of radiation the demon emits would be harmful to humans. I’d say more research might give us some insight as to whether we should be worried” Giles threw a couple more books at the table in front of Xander and Buffy who immediately groaned. 

“I’ll see what I can find online” Willow offered helpfully “I’ve just got to get my laptop, I think I left it in the back”

The group looked nervously at each other as Willow started making her way to the back room. 

“Want me to come with you Will?” Buffy asked, worry evident in her voice. 

“Guys, I’ll be two seconds. Really, I'll be fine” Willow stated as she disappeared into the back room. 

Anya chimed in “I’m going back there after her and if anything is missing I’m sending her a bill”

The others rolled their eyes before getting stuck back into their research. They were interrupted by the sound of the door bell as Dawn and Tara arrived. 

“Hey everyone” Dawn greeted as the they moved to joined the group.

Buffy stood up to greet her friend and her sister “Hey guys, Tara, I didn’t know if you would come inside”

“Why wouldn’t I come in?” Tara queried, looking confused for a moment. Her expression quickly changed to a knowing look as she saw her ex-girlfriend emerge from the back room, laptop in hand. 

“Tara” Willow said with cautious enthusiasm. 

Buffy immediately turned to her sister “You didn’t tell her Willow was here?” she asked with a glare. 

Dawn just pulled an awkward ‘oops’ face.

Everyone stared at the two witches, now engaged in an uneasy interaction.

“Sorry, I didn’t think you would be **here** ” Tara stated, emphasising the word here. 

Everyone in the room knew what Tara meant, she didn’t expect Willow to be in a magic shop considering her attempts to remain sober from magic. 

Willow looked unsure of how to respond, nervously fiddling with her hands. 

Buffy jumped in to help her best-friend out “Willow has been doing really well Tara, no magic for over a month. So good in fact that she’s able to be here and all is good…great actually…no problemo…right Will?”

Willow nodded as she began to add “And I haven’t even…”

But the red-head was quickly cut off by Tara “That’s great Will, but I should really get going. It was good to see…. everyone”. 

Tara hurriedly collected her things and started to leave. Giles looked on empathetically, knowing the complexity of what the woman was going through. 

Willow looked heartbroken. 

“Tara you don’t have to leave…” Dawn called out to try and stop Tara leaving, but the woman was already at the door. 

The witch opened the door to leave, looked outside, but then immediately shut the door and turned back to face the group.

“Somethings out there, something glowing” Tara exclaimed.

Giles rushed towards the front window to look outside “It’s the Lumen Demon, it’s here”

Tara moved away from the door. 

“What’s it doing here, how did it find us?” Buffy queried. 

“If I had to guess, I would say someone sent it here. Maybe someone who knew you might be here?” Giles replied. 

Buffy looked towards the group “Ok, so how are we going on that research about whether we’re all going to melt if I try and kill this thing” 

Xander and Anya began franticly looking through the books on the table while Willow opened up her laptop and began typing. 

“Did you say melt?” Tara asked nervously. 

Giles rushed to make sure the front door was locked “Tara can you put up a protective barrier to stop this thing coming any closer?” 

Tara nodded “I’d have to stay close to it, but I should be able to stop it from getting to the door.” Tara took Giles’ place by the door and began working on a protection spell. 

“Here I found something” Willow stated excitedly from behind her computer. Giles moved to look at what she had found. 

Willow pointed to the screen proudly and Giles began reading out loud “short periods of exposure to the Lumen Demon’s radioactivity is unlikely to cause poisoning or have significant impact on humans…”

“See we are good, Buffy can get out there and kick its butt” Willow said happily. 

Giles continued reading out loud “…however women should be particularly careful during…” Giles stopped mid-sentence looking towards Tara now at the front window “Tara get back from there!” Giles called out. 

Everyone looked confused, including Tara who had been busy maintaining the barrier outside the shop and had not heard what Giles had been reading out. 

“If I move I’m worried the barrier won’t keep” Tara replied.

Giles yelled out again, more urgently this time “Tara it doesn’t matter, you have to move further away from the demon!” 

Willow looked at Giles with a confused expression, she looked at the computer screen to see what had got him so spooked. She read out loud “women should be particularly careful during pregnancy as not to expose the foetus to an unsafe level of radiation”

Tara heard it this time and immediately moved away from the window. 

Xander spoke up in jest “Geez you’re not pregnant are you Tara?” 

Xander laughed at the absurdity of the statement, but stopped when he saw the earnest look on Tara and Giles’ faces.

“Are you pregnant?” Willow asked from behind the computer, colour draining from her face. 

Before Tara could respond, a loud bang came from the front door and then another. The demon was trying break down the locked door, the barrier had failed. 

Buffy sprang into action, hurtling towards the door just as the Demon succeeded in bursting through. With one swift kick to the chest, Buffy pushed the demon back outside and followed it onto the street. 

The demon and the slayer began engaging in an intense battle outside the shop, while back inside The Magic Box Anya began dispensing weapons to Giles and Xander from behind the counter as all three moved to join the fight. 

Willow, Tara and Dawn stayed back in awkward silence, before Dawn made some excuse about finding more weapons and made herself scarce. 

Willow looked with a pained expression towards her ex-lover “Tara, I don’t understand, are you pregnant?”

Tara didn’t need to say anything, Willow could see on her face that it was true. 

“When did? Who did?…” Willow began to ask. 

“Willow I can’t talk about this right now” Tara interjected assertively. Before Willow could protest the rest of the group made their way back into the shop. 

“That was surprisingly easy” Buffy stated, wiping some demon gunk from her jacket. 

“Got to love the old decapitate the demon with the sword trick” Xander added.

“Well who picked out the sword huh?” Anya added smugly as Xander put his arm around his fiancé proudly. 

The group stopped when they saw the two witches still in the shop, remembering the confusing revelation from earlier. 

Suddenly, a loud scream came from the back room. 

“Dawn!” Buffy cried, as the group rushed to find the teenager. 

They entered the training room to find Dawn laying on the training mats struggling under the weight of the training dummy that lay on top of her. 

“What is going on?” Buffy asked as she pulled the dummy of her sister. 

Dawn stood up and brushed herself off, looking embarrassed. 

“Sorry, I came in here to give Willow and Tara some space and thought I would try my hand at some fighting skills and…the dummy won” 

“How about you leave the training to me next time” Buffy replied “Anyway, glowy demon guy is all slayed now. So, how about we get you home”.

As the group made their way back to the front end of the shop, Anya enquired “Hey, where did Willow go?”

The rest of the group looked around, finding that the red-head was in fact nowhere to be seen and her laptop and bag was gone. 

Tara looked worried “Sh-she was pretty upset, she must have left. I should go find her, she might be…” 

Xander cut-in “Maybe it would be better if I went to look for her, she might need a bit of space” 

Tara nodded, knowing Xander was right. 

Xander grabbed his coat and made his way out through the broken-down door. 

“So, who knocked you up?” Anya asked Tara, leading to another very awkward silence. 

Meanwhile, Xander was making his way towards the Summers house, hoping to find his friend at home rather than anywhere more sinister. As he passed a park, he was relieved to catch sight of Willow sitting on a swing looking at her feet. 

“Penny for your thoughts…” Xander said as he sat on the swing next to his friend. 

“How did you find me?” Willow asked. 

“Best friend sonar detection” Xander joked, before he corrected “just dumb luck”. 

Willow gave a small smile before looking back down at her feet.

“She’s pregnant Xander. She’s been with someone else already. I thought I meant more to her than that. And a guy?”

“Will, I can’t imagine what you are going through, but I know how much Tara loved you and nothing that happens now can take that away”

Willow knew Xander was trying to comfort her, but all she could focus on was the word **loved** , past tense. 

Willow began to cry “I’m so stupid. I thought she would see how well I’m doing and want me back. I wore this stupid shirt, like if I wore the right shirt she wouldn’t see that I’m just a stupid junkie who has to be supervised being in a magic shop…of course she left me...”

“Hey Will, you’re not some stupid junkie, don’t say that. That’s my best friend you’re talking about” Xander reached out and placed his hand on the woman’s knee. 

Willow wiped her tear with her sleeve. 

“Xander, you don’t understand. When I left tonight, my first thought was to go to find Rack.” Willow shook her head in shame. 

Xander squeezed Willows knee “Ok, so you thought about it, but did you do it? No. That’s what you have to hold onto Will, that’s what matters”. 

“Yeah, you’re right” Willow replied taking a deep breath, feeling a bit better “What do I do now?” Willow asked. 

“Well” Xander said, getting off the swing and reaching for Willow’s hand “You and I are going to go find a place that sells ice-cream by the gallon and watch crappy movies until the sun comes up”. 

Willow smiled up at the young man, thanking the universe that she had a friend like him. Without saying a word, she took his hand and the two made their way out of the park to go find some ice-cream.


	4. Then We'll See

Buffy felt like she was dragging her feet towards her house. She was exhausted from last night’s demon slaying, all the Willow and Tara drama and todays shift at the Doublemeat Palace. 

As she approached the house she was surprised to see someone sitting on her porch. 

“Hey Buffy” Tara greeted the slayer as she moved to stand up. 

“Sorry for just showing up here, I was hoping to find Willow. After last night, I feel like I owe her an explanation”

“I think she might still be with Xander” Buffy replied apologetically. 

“Oh” Tara looked disappointed. 

“Do you want to come inside for a cup of coffee…or herbal tea!” Buffy remembered hearing somewhere that pregnant women shouldn’t drink coffee.

Tara nodded appreciatively.

The two women were soon sitting at the dining table sipping on their tea in an awkward silence. 

“So, I bet you have a lot of questions” Tara started.

“Kinda, I mean you made yourself pretty scarce after Willow left last night” Buffy didn’t want to make the girl feel uncomfortable, but she was pretty confused by the whole thing. 

“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want you all to find out like that, especially not...Do you know how Willows doing?”

“Xander called, said she was just hanging with him all night, but I think she’s a bit...freaked. Tara, why didn’t you tell me you were seeing someone else?”

Tara sighed “Buffy, I can’t talk to you about that, not before I talk to Willow.”

Buffy nodded “Of course, I’m sorry. Why don’t you just tell me how you’re going with all this?”

Tara sighed in relief, it was nice to be asked that “Well I’m a little freaked too to be honest….”

As the two women continued chatting they didn’t hear the back door opening. As Willow entered into the house she could hear the distinct voices of Tara and Buffy coming from the dining room. Curiosity got the better of her and she quietly moved closer to eavesdrop. 

“How far along are you?” Willow heard Buffy ask. 

“Eight weeks, it’s still early. That’s part of the reason I didn’t want to tell people yet”

Willow thought for a moment about what Tara had said. Suddenly, a horrible realisation washed over her and she felt an overwhelming urge to confront her ex.

“Willow” Tara said in shock when she saw the red-head appear from around the corner “How long have you been here?”

“Long enough” Willow spat out.

“Eight weeks!? Eight weeks!?” Willow questioned, her voice becoming shrill. 

“Willow what’s your problem?” Buffy asked, surprised by her friend’s outburst.

“Buffy, we’ve only been broken up for 6 weeks!” Willow informed the blonde.

“Oh” Buffy replied awkwardly “Maybe I should go…”

But before Buffy had a chance to leave, Willow continued “Is this why you broke up with me, you were cheating on me?...Was the whole 'you’re using too much magic' thing just an excuse to leave me for someone else?”

“How could you think that! You know why I left and you have to own that...and I didn’t cheat on you” Tara bit back. 

“Oh, what, you’re going to tell me it doesn’t count with a guy” Willow scoffed.

“Willow this is your baby” Tara blurted out. 

“What?!” Willow and Buffy exclaimed simultaneously.

Tara tried to calm herself down so that she could begin to explain, she knew she had no other choice “I wasn’t sure if I should tell you…but after last night…I came today to let you know that this is your baby Willow, we made this baby together. Mr. Giles and I worked it out”

Buffy and Willow sat at the table slack jawed as Tara explained what she and Giles had figured out the other day. 

When Tara had finished explaining she tried to reach out for her ex-lover’s hand in an attempt comfort to the shocked woman. But Willow quickly pulled her hand away. 

“Wait, you found all this out how long ago? And you spoke to Giles about it before me? And then…you just said you weren’t even sure if you were going to tell me?”

Tara didn’t know how to respond. Buffy looked equally uncomfortable, she was really wishing she had gotten out of the room earlier. 

Willow continued, a look of disgust on her face “…so were you ever going to tell me you were having a baby, our baby? Or were you just going to cut me out of this baby’s life, like you cut me out of yours?”

“Willow that’s not fair, you’re acting like I had this vindictive plan. I’ve just been trying to get my head around the fact that I’m p-pregnant. Do you know what it feels like to have this happen, after everything…” Tara stopped herself, she wasn’t ready to go there. 

“I should...just go be somewhere else” Buffy announced awkwardly as she finally left the room.

“You feel like this is something I’ve done **to** you, don’t you?” Willow already knew the answer. 

“I know it wasn’t all you Willow, but it feels like if you hadn’t have been so completely out of control…”

“What, then you wouldn’t be pregnant? Do you not want this baby?” Willow’s voice cracked.

“It’s more complicated than that Will, I want this baby…she already feels like mine. But this is not the way I had planned to start a family” Tara said placing her hand on her belly. 

“She?” Willow said in wonderment, learning for the first time they were having a baby girl.

Tara nodded and gave a small smile. But then she continued “…Willow I don’t know how you fit in. The way things are…the way things have been…the way this happened. The trust, it’s not…there is no trust”. 

Willow looked as though she had been punched in the stomach “You don’t want me to be a part of our child’s life?”

“I’m not saying that, I just need time to figure out h-how you can be part of her life and my life” Tara wished Willow would understand. She needed time to trust Willow again, to feel safe around her.

“This is my baby too Tara, don’t I get a say?” Willow was starting to get worked up again. 

“Willow if you really care about this baby, if you really care about me, you would listen to what I am saying. I need time, you need to keep focusing on your recovery, we need to take this slow. Then we can work out what this is going to look like…together”

“Ok…together” Willow began to settle.

Tara quickly added “Willow this doesn’t mean we are getting back together, and I promise if you go b-back to using dark magic I will do everything in my power to keep you away from this baby” Tara hated that she was saying this, she knew it was hurtful to Willow, but the pain of Willow’s actions still felt raw. 

“Tara I’m not going to do that, I’ve been doing fine these pasts few...”

“When you left The Magic Box last night, where did you go?” Tara interrupted. 

“I just went to a park, to get some space”

“When you left The Magic Box last night, where were you planning to go…at first?” Tara corrected. 

Willow looked down at the table, shame evident in her face. She conceded “Slow, I can do slow.”

“Slow, then we’ll see” Tara added.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this story has been a lot of angst so far. I promise there will more light-hearted and romantic times in future chapters. Hope people are enjoying the story!


	5. DMP

“…So now she is pregnant with our baby” Willow took a sip of her coffee and leaned back on the sofa, looking back at Xander and Anya’s surprised faces, waiting for one of them to speak. 

She had come over to Anya and Xander’s apartment to share the ‘Willow is the baby-daddy’ news. She had hoped Xander’s enthusiasm might make her feel a bit less terrified about the whole thing, but she forgot factor in Anya’s response.

“You’re going to need a lot of money, children cost a lot of money” Anya stated as a matter of fact. 

“Anya!” Xander chided “Willow doesn’t need you freaking her out right now. Plus, she’s the smartest person I know, I’m sure she’s got it all worked out already. Right Will?”

“Oh yeah I’ve totally got that all worked out…not!” the red-head responded with panic “How did I not even think about the money? I can’t afford a kid, I just put a pair of jeans on layaway!” 

“Didn’t you and Tara talk about how you were going to pay for a baby while you’re both still in college?” Xander asked. 

"I guess we didn't really get to that.."

“Yes, and don’t forget about the student loans you’ll be paying off until you’re sixty” Anya added unhelpfully. 

Willow started taking shallow breaths, sensing the beginnings of a panic attack “Oh God, I’m going to have to drop out of college and get a job”.

“Willow, maybe you should talk to Tara about this before you start making any rash decisions” Xander tried to settle his stressed-out friend. 

“No, I can do this” Willow trying to gather a sense of determination, she continued “I need to show Tara that I can be responsible, and take care of her and the baby. I can get a job, that’s easy. I just need to think about where a twenty something without a college degree can get work in this town” 

A week later......

Willow and Buffy stood behind the counter of the Doublemeat Palace dressed in identical uniforms, a striped red shirt and a red baseball cap with a stuffed yellow cow's head protruding from the front. 

Buffy pointed at the register as she instructed her friend “So, there are these little pictures of the food on the buttons, you hit the burger button and then the small button and walah, small Doublemeat Burger Meal on its way!” 

“Cool” Willow tried to sound enthusiastic. 

“Willow, are you sure you want to be working here? I know you said you need the money, but don’t you have a lot going on right now with Tara and finals coming up?” Buffy could sense her friend was feeling uneasy. 

“I’m sorry Buffy, I want to be here. I mean, it was so great that you go me this job. And college isn’t really my priority right now. I’m thinking maybe I need to take a bit of time off the whole college thing and start picking up more shifts”

“Willow, you can’t drop out of college. If you need money that badly we can work something out, but you can’t…”

Willow interrupted, raising her eyebrow as she spoke “…can’t do exactly what you did for Dawn?”

“Touché” Buffy conceded, then added “But Will, I’m not like you. You’re smart, so smart that you’re gonna work for like NASA one day…and I think you kinda need a degree for that” 

“Hey, you’re smart” the red-head replied reassuringly “Plus, maybe I’ll work my way up the corporate ladder here and become a regional manager or something!”

“Willow, I will slay you myself if you end up with a ten-year badge”

Willow rolled her eyes. She knew her best-friend just wanted the best from her, but she also knew that she had to find a way to provide for...

“Tara?” Buffy announced in surprise as she saw her friends ex-girlfriend approach the counter. 

Willow quickly tried to straighten out her uniform, which was already immaculate _'Oh god could this day get any worse? Tara is going to see me in this uniform and I might just die right here on the spot'_

“Hey” Tara said, trying not to giggle at the sight of the two best friends in identical uniforms. Although, she did think that a certain red-head actually looked pretty cute under that goofy hat. 

“You here for some lunch?” Willow asked innocently. 

“Can get you a shake on the house if you like?” Buffy offered. 

“Um, no I’m alright. I just came to see Willow”

Willow gave Tara a questioning look

Tara explained “Xander told me you were working here. He also told me that you were thinking of dropping out of college. Is that true?” Tara shot Willow an unimpressed glare. 

Buffy quickly jumped in “Will, why don’t you take your break. I can cover us here, it’s pretty slow. Plus, I think I've been a fly on the wall for a few too many private conversations lately”

Willow thanked Buffy and followed Tara to the parking lot outside the restaurant to talk. 

Once they were outside Tara jumped right in “What are you doing here Will?”

“I found a job, to help pay for the baby, plus the Doublemeat has some pretty good insurance benefits. Do you know how much it costs to give birth in a hospital?” Willow was babbling. 

“Willow, I didn’t say I needed help paying for this baby” 

“I know, we didn’t talk about it, but how else are we going to get the money? I mean isn’t that how it works, you have the baby and I provide…why do I suddenly sound like a 1950’s husband?” 

“Willow, I don’t need you to provide for us OK. We’ve never really talked about this, but when my mom died she left me a small inheritance. It’s how I was able to come out here to study and I can use it for the baby” 

“You’re rich?!” Willow asked in shock. 

Tara gave a small laugh “No, I’m not rich. But it’s enough, enough to get through the pregnancy and another couple of years, before I graduate and can start working”

“Oh” Willow looked down at her feet “You’ve worked it all out…on your own”

“Willow, this is a good thing, you don’t have to drop out of school”

Willow looked up at the brunette “I know, it’s just that…maybe it felt good to think that you might need me in this way…in any way” 

Tara hated that her ex was feeling so useless and sad. 

“I could really use some company at my doctor’s appointment on Thursday” Tara offered. 

Immediately Willow’s face lit up “Really? You want me come with you?”

Tara nodded. Willow gave her best goofy smile in return.

 _'I’ve missed that smile'_ Tara thought to herself _'gosh don’t get carried away here Tara, time to leave!'_

“I should let you get back to your shift and I have to...” 

Willow interjected “I still want to help out, where I can, with the bills. But maybe I could just do some weekends and nights at the Doublemeat, you know, work it around classes?” 

Tara could see this was important for Willow, so she accepted “Yeah that sounds good Will.”

As Tara started walking away she added “the uniform looks cute on you anyway” she followed this with her signature lopsided grin before she disappeared around the corner. 

Willow’s smile couldn’t get any bigger _'I am never taking this uniform off'_ she thought to herself.


	6. Bad Ideas

Willow absentmindedly kicked a stone as she waited for Tara in the hospital parking lot. She was thinking about how much she hated this place, the site of so many terrible memories, and how strange it felt being here for something not so terrible. She had a lot of time to think because she arrived 30 minutes early, wanting to make sure she wasn’t late and desperate to make a good impression.

“Willow, you’re here” Tara approached her ex-girlfriend with a smile. 

“Absolutely, wouldn’t miss it for the world” Willow replied sweetly. 

“Thanks again for coming, it’s nice not having to do these things alone.”

“Well you don’t ever have to be alone if you don’t want to” Willow countered, immediately regretting how desperate that sounded. 

Tara just gave an awkward smile and tried to change the subject “So we should probably get inside, don’t want to keep the doctor waiting”

Twenty minutes later Tara was lying on the exam table with Willow sitting to her left and Dr. Rivers to her right preparing the ultrasound. 

“So how do you fit in here Willow?” Dr. Rivers asked, wondering about the pairs relationship since Willow had not attended Tara’s first appointment.

“She’s a friend” Tara answered for the red-head.

Tara saw the flash of hurt on Willow’s face.

“A-A close friend” Tara added, trying to soften to blow for her ex. Tara knew she hurt Willow’s feelings, but she didn’t know how to explain the truth to the doctor without getting re-admitted to the psych-ward.

“Ok, well let’s have a look at this baby shall we, see how they’re growing” The doctor  
squeezed some gel on Tara’s belly and began moving the wand around as she looked at the monitor. 

After a few moments, the doctor gestured to her monitor “Baby is looking good in there Tara, do you see?”

Both Willow and Tara leaned towards the monitor.

“I can see! There you are little one” Tara said warmly, instinctively grabbing Willow’s hand and squeezing it. 

“I can’t believe that’s ou…ah…your baby” Willow said, trying to keep it together, sensing the tears welling up in her eyes.

“How about we get some pictures” Dr. Rivers offered. 

Within a couple of minutes Tara was being handed a picture of the ultrasound. 

“Do you want one too?” Dr. Rivers asked Willow, sensing there was more to the two women’s relationship than just a friendship. 

“Yes please!” Willow answered excitedly, coveting the picture she was handed.

“Well we’re looking good, but how are we feeling Tara?” Dr. Rivers asked sincerely. 

“Still a bit queasy” Tara admitted. 

“You’re queasy?” Willow asked with alarm.

“Perfectly normal” Dr. Rivers jumped in reassuringly “morning sickness should ease up once you’re through the first trimester, but in the meantime, I’ll give you a pamphlet about managing the symptoms. Alright, well if there nothing else, I’ll leave you to get changed and meet you out the front”.

Willow and Tara thanked Dr. Rivers before she made her way out of the room.

Willow turned to her ex, “If you were feeling sick you should have told me, I could have brought you something to make you feel better”

“Will, it’s not that bad, you don’t have to worry” Tara reassured Willow as she made her way off the exam table. 

“I like to worry, it’s in my bones to worry…” Willow continued.

“Ah Will, would you mind?” Tara said gesturing to her gown and making a signal with her hand for the red-head to turn around.

“Oh sorry” Willow blushed. It felt strange not being able to watch Tara get changed, something that was so normal only a couple of months ago. But Willow obliged, turning away from her ex as she started to undress.  
Willow continued to speak as she faced the wall “So I was reading this article about how playing Mozart to unborn babies can make the smarter, so I was thinking maybe I could pick you up some CD’s to start playing…”

“Willow this baby has fifty percent of your genetics, she’s already going to be smart enough. You can turn around now”

Willow turned back around to see Tara now fully dressed “Well this baby has fifty percent of your genetics so we already know she’s going to be beautiful”.

“Willow” Tara replied with a sigh.

“Sorry, that wasn’t very ‘taking it slow’ was it?” Willow admitted, her cheeks becoming red with embarrassment. 

“Will, I liked you being here today and being a part of this. But I’m not ready for anything to change yet, with our relationship”.

“I get it…believe me, I was here for the whole ‘she’s a friend’ conversation with Dr. Rivers” Willow said with a bit of bitterness. 

“Willow I’m sorry about that, I didn’t know what else to say. It’s not exactly easy to explain our situation.” Tara apologised. 

“I know, I just…look just let me show you I can be here for this baby. I know I screwed things up with you and me, but I can still go through this pregnancy with you…as whatever you need me to be.”

Tara nodded “Ok…well right now I need you to be the one who takes me to lunch, because I’m starving”.

“I can do that” Willow said with a smile. 

One month later….

“So, things seem to be going well between you and Tara…” Buffy noted as her and Willow strolled through the cemetery. 

Buffy was excited to have company on patrol tonight and Willow thought she might be helpful if the Trio showed up to try anything, with her shared geek knowledge and all. 

“I think so…I mean we’re hanging out more, mostly just talking baby stuff, but that seems to be going well”

“That’s great Will...But I’m guessing you might like smoochies alongside all the baby talk?”

“Am I that obvious?” Willow asked worriedly. 

“Except for the ogling every time Tara enters the room…no you’re not that obvious” Buffy teased.

“Hey I don’t ogle! Do I ogle?” Willow asked nervously. 

“It’s OK Will. Trust me, I get the whole lusting over someone you shouldn’t. It sucks”

Willow assumed the blonde was talking about Angel, so she didn’t question it further. 

“It’s just, we are getting along so well, but then she freaks out anytime she thinks I’m going to make a move. I mean the other day I reached out to get a leaf out of her hair and she practically jumped to the other side of the room” 

“Maybe she’s confused about her feelings?” Buffy tried to reassure her friend. 

“I wish she would just believe me when I said I’m ok with the co-parenting thing even if we’re not together. I mean it hurts, but if she doesn’t want to be with me, I still want to be in our kid’s life” 

“I have an idea!” Buffy excitedly, grabbing the redhead by the shoulders. 

“Look at us, the lonely-hearts club over here” Buffy continued “I need to get over…lovers past, and you need to show Tara that you can move on and be her platonic co-parent or whatever. So…let’s go find ourselves some perfectly reasonable moving on enabling dates!”

“You want to go dating?” Willow didn’t like the sound of this “Buffy I don’t know if I’m ready…”

“Willow it’s not like we need to find the loves of our lives, I’m just talking some fun no-drama dating. I saw a flyer at the Bronze for singles night. No commitment, hotties at the ready. What do you say?

“Singles night? Buffy this doesn’t really sound like us”

“Exactly, and look at where being us got us!” Buffy exclaimed. 

“OK, fair point” Willow conceded. Willow thought this was possibly the worst idea Buffy ever had, but she also worried about Buffy feeling lonely. So, against her better judgement…“Fine! But no promises on actually speaking to anyone” 

“Eeek! We are going to have so much fun” Buffy exclaimed giving her friend a big hug. 

“Somehow I doubt that” Willow pouted.


	7. I Need You

Tara closed the book she had been studying from as she sat back against her bed’s headboard. She reached down and felt the slight baby-bump under her shirt and smiled.

There was a gentle knock at the door, it was Willow. Tara had asked her to come over after her Doublemeat Palace shift. 

“Hey Will” Tara greeted the red-head as she opened the door. Tara couldn’t help but give the woman a once over, as the red-head was still wearing her work uniform, she had no idea why the dorky uniform stirred something in her. 

“Hey, I brought you a burger” Willow handed Tara a paper bag as she made her way into the dorm. “So, you wanted to talk to me about something?” Willow questioned as she stood awkwardly in the room. 

“Willow I need you” Tara let out in desperation.

“Need me to what?” Willow replied, looking confused. 

“I can’t stop thinking about you and every time I’m near you I just want to…” Suddenly Tara lunged towards her ex-lover capturing her lips in a passionate kiss. 

It didn’t take long for Willow to respond just as passionately. Pulling Tara into her body with one hand, and pulling her DMP cap off with the other, letting it fall to the ground. 

“Bed…Now” Tara demanded as she pulled Willow on top of here as she laid down on the bed.

“Tara, I love you so much” Willow caressed her lovers face before moving her hand to gently squeeze the voluptuous woman’s breast, leaving both woman moaning in pleasure. 

Tara could feel Willow’s thigh pushing up against her centre.

“God, Willow” Tara arched her back, trying desperately to relieve the pressure building in her core. 

Willow captured Tara’s lips in a fervent kiss as she started dragging her thigh back and forth between the blonde’s legs, creating the most delicious friction. 

Tara grabbed the back of her ex-lover’s head to deepen the kiss…when suddenly the blonde sat up in bed with a gasp. She looked around the dark room, no Willow. 

_‘I must have fallen asleep while I was reading. Gods what was that dream, these pregnancy hormones are driving me crazy, and what is about that uniform? I wonder what Willow’s doing right now…’_

Buffy and Willow stood at the bar of The Bronze, Willow nervously looked down at her name tag that said, ‘Hello my name is Willow, I’m single’. 

Buffy caught sight of the uncomfortable look on her best-friends face “OK Will, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise singles night would be this…organised. I know it’s a bit lame, but we’re here now, let’s try and have some fun”.

“I’m sorry Buffy, I just keep thinking, what if Tara finds out I’m here?”

“Will, it’s not meant to be a big secret remember, you guys aren’t together.” 

Willow winced.

Buffy didn’t mean for her words to come out so direct “Sorry Will, I didn’t mean to…”

“No, Buffy you’re right. Tara has made is perfectly clear she doesn’t want a relationship with me, and I’m allowed to move on with my life” Willow responded, sounding less convincing than she had hoped. 

Buffy gave Willow a squeeze on her arm, before she took another sip of her drink and looked around the room. The blonde spotted a very tall, dark and handsome guy coming their way. 

“Hey, I’m James” the man introduced himself to Buffy, giving the slayer a once over. He turned to Willow to give her a quick ‘hey’, but clearly his sights were set on the blonde. 

“Hey, I’m Buffy, this is Willow”

“I couldn’t help but notice you across the room, and was wondering if you wanted to dance?”

“Oh, well Willow and I…”

“It’s OK Buffy, I can entertain myself for a bit” Willow said, giving her friend a knowing smile. 

Buffy didn’t really see relationship material in James, but she had come here to have some fun and to encourage Willow to do the same. So, she took James’ hand and followed him to the dancefloor, turning back to give Willow an excited wave on the way. 

Willow watched on with a smile, she liked seeing Buffy let loose, especially when it had been such a difficult year for the slayer. Her thoughts were soon interrupted by a slender raven-haired woman who had made her way to stand next to the witch. 

“That your friend out there?” the woman said, gesturing to Buffy dancing with James. 

“Yeah, she’s getting her flirt on” Willow said with a giggle. 

“And how about you, are you planning on getting your flirt on tonight?” The woman said suggestively. 

Willow’s eyes went wide as it dawned on her that she was getting hit on by this beautiful woman “Umm…Well…it’s complicated. I mean I have something complicated with someone else.”

The woman smiled kindly “That’s cool. But hey, if it ever gets uncomplicated…” The mystery woman grabbed Willows hand and began writing something on her palm “…here is my number, my names Brandi” Brandi dropped Willow’s hand and pointed to her name tag, which read ‘Hello my name is Brandi, I’m Single and I like girls’. 

“Oh OK, well nice to meet you Brandi” Willow managed to mumble out.

“You too, hopefully see you round…” Brandi stole a glance at Willow’s name tag “…Willow.”

Willow watched as Brandi disappeared into the crowd. 

“Willow Rosenberg, who was that!” 

Willow jumped, not realising the Buffy had returned from the dance floor.

“Ah…oh…no-one, she just wanted to give me her number.”

Buffy grabbed Willow’s hand to look at the digits written across the woman’s palm “I’m gone two minutes and you get a girl’s number! I knew that outfit would work wonders for you. So, are you gonna call?”

“No, Buffy I can’t…it’s definitely too soon, but how did you go with handsome James?” Willow asked, wanting to change the subject.

“Oh, he was a bit more about the groping rather than the romance, so I kicked him in the shins and left him on the dancefloor” Buffy stated unaffectedly, before she grabbed her drink from the bar to take a long sip. 

“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea” Buffy conceded. 

Willow sighed in relief “Thank you…Can we go home now?”

“Yeah…hey maybe we can make it home in time to watch the end of Steel Magnolias, it was on TV tonight” Buffy suggested excitedly.

“Sounds perfect” Willow responded with a grin. 

As the two women made their way to leave, a group of Vampires dressed in biker gear stormed through the front door. 

“Hey singles, let’s get ready to mingle!” One of the Vampires shouted as the rest of the group went to cover the exists, stopping anyone from leaving. 

“Of course, singles night at The Bronze _would_ be like an invitation for an all you can eat buffet for Vamps” Buffy rolled her eyes. 

“Buffy, what do we do?” Willow said worriedly. 

“There’s too many of them for me to fight alone” Buffy looked around “Willow, I’m going to distract them, do you think you can get to that phone behind the bar to call the others for back-up? We’re going to need some people on the outside”.

Willow nodded and made her way towards the phone. 

Meanwhile at Xander and Anya’s apartment…

“I love this game!” Anya exclaimed as she counted her Monopoly money.

“That’s because you always win” Dawn stated, looking unimpressed “When are Willow and Buffy coming to pick me up?” 

“Aw, what’s wrong Dawnster, not having fun with all the games and the snacks?” Xander jested. 

“No, it’s just…don’t you think it’s weird that they went to The Bronze and didn’t invite you guys? I just keep thinking that somethings up.” 

“Well, they said they needed a girl’s night and I…” Xander made his voice comically deep to emphasise his point “am all man”. 

Dawn laughed, but Anya looked less than impressed “Girls night? And I wasn’t invited, how rude!”

Dawn and Xander shot each-other an awkward look before they were interrupted by the phone ringing.

“Saved by the bell” Xander shot up and went to pick up the phone. 

“Hey Will, how’s the…what? how many?...yeah we’ll get down there, hang tight” Xander hung up the phone and quickly picked it up again to call Giles.

“What’s wrong, girl’s night not all it’s cracked up to be?” Anya asked sarcastically.

“Group of Vamps have decided to make a feast out of the patrons of The Bronze tonight. Willow and Buffy are inside and Willow says they need back up. I’m going to call Giles. Anya, call Tara and see if she can come take Dawn home.” 

Later that night…

“I hope Buffy and Willow are OK. They just wanted to go out for a girls night at The Bronze and then this” Dawn said anxiously as her and Tara entered into the Summers’ house. 

“Well it was lucky they were there to protect the other people…I’m sure they’ve got it all under control.” Tara was trying to hide that fact she was terrified something might happen to Willow “How about we watch a movie while we wait to hear from the others, I think Steel Magnolias is on?”

Dawn gave an approving nod and the two settled on the couch to distract themselves while they waited. 

A few hours later, Tara and Dawn had fallen asleep on the couch, but were woken up by sound of Buffy and Willow coming home.

“Dawn!” Buffy called out.

“Buffy you’re OK” Dawn jumped off the couch to give her sister a hug. 

“All good, those Vamps didn’t know what hit them” Buffy said reassuringly, trying to ignore the sharp pain from her bruised ribs as her sister hugged her. 

“Thanks for staying here with Dawn” Willow jumped in to acknowledge Tara. 

“Not a problem, just glad you’re both OK” Tara smiled warmly. 

“What’s with the name tags” Dawn pointed to Buffy's chest. 

Both Buffy and Willow looked down at their shirts, both having clearly forgotten that they were still wearing their ‘Hello my name is….I’m single’ tags. 

“Oh that just from…” Buffy was scrambling to come up with an explanation. 

Tara caught sight of the name tags too “Girls night, right?” Tara tried to avoid eye contact with Willow “I should get going”

Buffy could see Tara was hurt, and Willow seemed to be having trouble finding words at the moment, so she interjected “Tara, this was my stupid idea. Willow didn’t even want to go” 

“It..It’s true, Buffy talked me into it” Willow added, gesturing with her hands in such a way that Tara could clearly see a name and number scrawled on the redhead’s palm. 

“Well I’m glad it worked out so well for you Will” Tara pointed to the women’s hand, before quickly leaving out the front door. 

Willow looked confused for a moment and then realised what Tara had seen on her hand.

“Willow, I’m sorry…” Buffy started.

“No, Buffy, you don’t need to apologise” Willow quickly followed Tara outside. 

“Hey, you don’t get to make me feel bad about this” 

“Excuse me” Tara turned back around to find Willow was just a few steps behind her on the front lawn. 

“Tara I’m sorry, but you’ve told me that you don’t want to be with me. Part of the reason I agreed to go out with Buffy last night, was to show you that I could respect that and not be desperate Willow trying to get back with you. And then you act all jealous ex at the first sign of me actually moving on. What am I….”

Tara took a step forward reaching up her hand to gently hold Willow’s face, stopping the redhead mid-sentence. Tara breathed out “Willow I need you”

Willow didn’t hesitate as she leaned forward to capture Tara’s lips with her own, kissing the blonde passionately as Buffy and Dawn squealed from the doorway.


	8. Skipped It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter today, but more updates are coming soon. Thank you for all the feedback so far.

On the front lawn of the Summer’s house…

Tara took a step forward reaching up her hand to gently hold Willow’s face, stopping the redhead mid-sentence. Tara breathed out “Willow I need you”

Willow didn’t hesitate as she leaned forward to capture Tara’s lips with her own, kissing the brunette passionately.

Tara accepted the redhead’s lips eagerly, heat rising in her cheeks as her tongue brushed against her ex-lover’s parted lips. But the moment was soon interrupted by the sounds of Buffy and Dawn squealing from the doorway of the house.

Suddenly Tara became self-conscious and pulled away from Willow. 

Willow, turned to glare at the onlookers, gesturing for the sisters to get back inside, which they quickly did. 

“Sorry, you know they’re just…” Willow started to reassure the Tara but Tara retreated, creating more distance between them.

“No Will, I’m sorry …I shouldn’t have done that” 

Willow began to panic “No baby, please. You wanted to kiss me, I felt it. You said you needed me.”

“I know, sweetie I know” Tara reached forward to squeeze the redheads hand reassuringly,  
“I just meant I shouldn’t have gotten so carried away, kissing you like that…here.”

“Oh” Willow sighed in relief, “but we can do that again…somewhere more private?” Willow gave Tara a cheeky smile.

Tara responded with a lopsided grin “I still want to take things slow, but kisses could be part of the first step.” 

Tara checked her watch “but now I really do have to get going, morning classes.”

Willow pouted “OK, but only because it’s for school and that’s about my favourite thing apart from you. Maybe I can come by your dorm room tonight for some of those first step kisses you mentioned earlier?”

Tara bit her lip as she pulled Willow close. 

“Definitely” Tara said as she leaned in and placed soft lingering kiss on Willow’s mouth. 

Willow felt her knees buckle, she had missed those lips so much over the last few months.  
“I’ll see you later Will” Tara said as she began walking away.

The redhead just stood in place with a goofy grin, unable to form a complete sentence “See ya...later.”

That night…

Tara had started the night strong, telling Willow that trust had to be built again, and how they needed to learn if they we're even the same people. But then the kissing started and her resolve to take things slow wavered, and now she had Willow pinned against a wall in her dorm room.

Tara furiously kissed the Willow while letting her hands roam across her body. 

“Mmm…what happened to taking it slow?” Willow asked cheekily as Tara began to suck the redhead’s pulse point. 

“After…we can take it slow…after” Tara replied as she reached her hand down between Willow’s legs, caressing the woman’s centre through her jeans. 

Willow felt her knees buckle again and she worried she wouldn’t be able to stand upright much longer, “Maybe we should move this to the bed?”

Tara pulled back and gave Willow a devilish grin before she pulled the redhead towards the bed. 

Before they got into the bed, Willow tugged at Tara’s shirt “This can come off?’ Willow pleaded. 

Tara nodded and raised her arms above her head, inviting her lover to pull her shirt off. Once Willow discarded the garment on the floor, she ran her hands over her lover’s breasts, noticing how they were spilling out from her sexy black bra. Willow felt a rush of heat as she realised that Tara’s breasts become even more ample with the pregnancy. 

Willow continued her exploration and began to run her hands down Tara’s body before she stopped at something unfamiliar. 

“You’re showing” Willow stepped back to take in the sight of the brunette’s small baby bump. 

“It just happened, like a week ago” Tara self-consciously placed her arm across her belly. 

“Oh baby, don’t hide it, you look so beautiful” Willow got down on her knees, and began placing delicate kisses across Tara’s belly. 

“She’s really in there, we’re having a baby” Willow said in amazement as she looked up to meet her lover’s eyes. 

Tara stroked Willow’s hair “Yeah, we’re having a baby”.

Willow stood up again, meeting Tara eye to eye, “Thank you”

“For what sweetie?” Tara asked as she tucked a strand of hair behind Willow’s ear.

“For giving me another chance, for being the amazing mother to my child that I know you’ll be. I don’t know how I got so lucky.” 

Tara leaned forward to kiss a single tear falling down the redhead’s cheek before moving to kiss her soft lips. 

“Let me show you how lucky you really are” Tara teased as she pulled her lover onto the bed.


	9. Goodbyes

“You knew this was coming. I’ve delayed my departure as long as I can”.

Giles spoke solemnly to Xander and Willow as they sat in the living room of the Summers’ house. Buffy stood in the doorway listening in.

“But…we still need you” Willow sulked. 

“Willow, you don’t need me, you have each other. You’ve defeated the Trio, with very little help from me actually…”

“Giles, they were just a group of geeks, they weren’t demons or gods” Xander added.

“I’m sorry…to all of you. But as I told Buffy, I’ve made up my mind. I’ll be returning to England in a couple of weeks”. 

“It’s no use guys, I’ve already done all the begging and pleading. He’s leaving” Buffy said dejectedly.

“I’ll leave you three to talk, as I’m sure you have things to say to each other and I have to be getting back to Anya at The Magic Box”.

Giles left the sullen looking friends, knowing they needed time to debrief the news. 

“How could you let him leave Buffy?” Willow asked. 

“He didn’t give me a choice Will. I would do anything if I thought he would stay” Buffy buried her face in her hands. 

“When did high school end and we become adults. I mean I'm married now, Will has a baby on the way, Buffy is looking after Dawn. Now our father figure is leaving us..” Xander added. 

“Speaking of which, I’ve got to go" Willow interjected, "I’m meeting Tara at the hospital for her twenty-two-week scan.”

“I can’t believe the baby is only three months away, and Tara is still living at the dorm” Buffy noted. 

Willow and Tara had been back together for over three months now, but Tara had insisted that taking it slow meant not jumping straight back into cohabitation. 

“I know, I'm hoping she’ll come around soon and move back in” Willow started putting on her jacket, getting ready to leave. 

“If there is one person with the persistence to change anyone’s mind it’s you Will” Xander gave his friend and encouraging smile. 

“Hope so. I’ll come home after the hospital to talk more about the whole Giles abandoning us thing, but I’ve really got to get going.”

With that Willow left for the hospital to go meet Tara. As she walked towards her car Willow noticed a familiar face walking towards her.

“Amy, what are you doing here?” Willow questioned the witch, who she hadn’t seen since she had decided to quit magic. 

“Willow, it’s been a minute. I was just coming by to pick up some of my things...my cage I mean. You mentioned you were happy for me to have it..” 

"Oh, well I really have to run, but Buffy's inside and she can grab it for you" Willow offered, hoping Amy would let her leave quickly.

But Amy wasn't interested in ending her interaction with the redhead “So...I heard you were on the straight and narrow. Not practicing anymore, I mean?” 

“Yeah, well things weren’t really going great for me when I was, so…” Willow rubbed the back of her neck nervously. 

“That’s a shame. Man, you had some power” Amy emphasised her point by giving Willow a light punch to the arm, “And now you’re just…Willow” Amy looked the redhead up and down.

Willow knew she shouldn’t be listening to Amy. Amy was part of the reason things had gotten so bad before, but Amy’s words stirred some long-standing insecurities in Willow.

Willow tried to focus on what she had gained by leaving magic behind.

“I’m back together with Tara, and we’re having a baby” Willow said proudly. 

Amy looked shocked “Wow, when did that happen?”

“It’s a long story” Willow replied, not wanting to draw out this interaction any longer.

“I’m happy for you Willow. I hope the baby arrives happy and…safe.”

“Safe?” Willow questioned.

“Oh, you know what I mean...having a baby in Sunnydale, epicentre of all things evil, not always the safest place to raise a child. I mean maybe when you had all that power you had some protection, but now…” 

Amy was baiting the redhead and Willow was falling for it, becoming increasingly panicked. 

“Sorry Willow, I didn’t mean to freak you out. But I mean if something did happen, maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to have some stuff lying around. You know, just to protect your family. I mean hopefully you would never have to use it, but you can never be too sure in a town like this. You know I've got a few things on me...”

Twenty minutes later, Willow sat in her car outside the hospital. She glanced over at the bag on passenger seat. She couldn’t believe she had let Amy convince her to take this stuff. She had been so good at keeping the house clear of anything magic related for the last few months. 

The redhead looked at the time, she was going to be late for Tara’s appointment. She shoved the bag into her glovebox, thinking to herself that she would get rid of it later. She went to go find Tara. 

\----------

The appointment had gone well. Dr. Rivers had said that Tara and the baby were perfectly healthy. But as the two witches left the hospital Willow couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling she had since her run-in with Amy. 

“Baby, I want to talk to you about something.”

Tara turned to her girlfriend curiously as she rubbed her now protruding pregnant belly “Of course sweetie, you can talk to me about anything.”

Willow grabbed her girlfriends hand “I know we said we would take things slow, but I want you to move back into the house with me. I don’t like the idea of you being alone, you know with all the creepys and spookys that tend to frequent our lovely town. I think it would be safer to be with me…and...Buffy, can't get safer than having a slayer in the house. Plus, you’re going to have to move out of the dorms sooner or later.” 

Tara giggled at her girlfriends adorable babbling “I know I can't stay at the dorms” Tara conceded, “I’m just scared Will. Things have been going so well between us and you have been doing so well. What if we move back in together and things…fall apart again.”

Willow reached out to cup her lover’s cheek reassuringly “Tara, I promise you, you have nothing to worry about. Strong like an Amazon remember. Move back in with me and let me show you that we can do this.”

\----------

Two weeks later Tara had moved back into the Summers house. 

Willow was so happy to have her girlfriend living with her again. But, ever since her encounter with Amy, Willow had been having terrible nightmares of demons hurting Tara and the baby. Unfortunately for Willow having Tara move back in hadn’t stopped the nightmares or eased her fears as she had hoped it would. 

It was one such nightmare that had woken her up tonight. It had been a particularly distressing dream and the redhead had woken up in a puddle of sweat. It didn’t help that Giles was leaving for England tomorrow, increasing the witch's already heightened stress levels.

Unable to get back to sleep Willow now sat on the bathroom floor inspecting the magical objects Amy had given her two weeks ago. She had planned to get rid of them, but there always seemed to be a reason not to. 

_‘If I could just do one protection spell on the house, Tara and the baby would be safe every night, in my arms. I can do this and I can come back from it. Tara will never know, she’ll just be safe.’ _Willow thought to herself.__

__The witch began placing the crystals and candles out on the floor and was soon chanting an incantation that she remembered from a protection spell she had done for Buffy. But something felt different about this spell. The power emitting from the crystals was wicked and powerful._ _

__The witch realised too late that Amy must have done something to the objects she had given the redhead, turning them into a receptacle for the dark magic that was now rushing through Willow like a drug. Within an instant Willow had lost control._ _

__Back in the bedroom, Tara had also woken from her sleep, looking at the clock to see it was 2am. She rubbed her round belly, trying to sooth the indigestion that had stirred her. She reached out for Willow, but was surprised to find that she was alone in bed._ _

__Tara looked around the room curiously, she could see a slither or light coming from under the bathroom door. She decided to get up and investigate._ _

__“Sweetie…Willow are you in there?” Tara called out softly as she gently knocked on the door, not wanting to wake the other members of the household._ _

__There was no response from Willow, but Tara could hear strange moaning coming from the other side of the door. She worried that Willow might be sick._ _

__“Will, are you ok?” No response._ _

__“Sweetie, I’m worried about you. I’m going to come in and check on you, OK?”_ _

__Tara was still getting no response from the redhead so she slowly opened the door, which was thankfully unlocked._ _

__“Willow are you…” Tara was taken aback by the sight of her girlfriend, slumped on the bathroom floor._ _

__“Willow, what’s happened?” Tara grabbed Willow’s face, trying to prop her head up to see if she was ok._ _

__Tara jumped back when Willow opened her eyes, which had turned completely black. Tara had never seen Willow like this and she was clearly frightened._ _

__“Don’t be scared baby” Willow started to drawl out “I was just getting rid of this stuff, I wasn’t using it” Willow lied. The redhead tried to stand up, but immediately feel back down to the ground. She started laughing “Whoops”_ _

__Tara could see the redhead was completely out of it._ _

__“Willow what have you done? You promised me this was over…” Tara was crying now, she couldn’t handle seeing her girlfriend like this._ _

__“Baby don’t be like that” Willow countered, still giggling as she struggled to keep her head up._ _

__“I’m getting rid of this stuff” Tara said as she moved to grab the magical objects off the floor._ _

__“Hey, don’t do that, I need those!” Willow said abruptly._ _

__But Tara didn’t listen as she began collecting the objects._ _

__“I said don’t!” Willow waved her hand hoping to move the objects out of Tara’s reach, but in the redheads altered state she accidentally sent the brunette tumbling backwards._ _

__There was a loud thud, as Tara hit the back of her head on the wall behind her._ _

__“Tara!” Willow exclaimed, sobering up a bit. She rushed towards the pregnant woman._ _

__“Stay....away!” Tara demanded as she outstretched her hand and conjured a protective barrier, stopping Willow in her tracks._ _

__Tara reached her other hand to the back of her head, which was now throbbing in pain. As she pulled her hand back both her and Willow could see blood on her fingers._ _

__Willow looked on in horror “Baby, I didn’t mean to…oh gods let me help you, you’re hurt”._ _

__Tara looked like she was going to faint._ _

__Dawn and Buffy burst through the bathroom door, having been woken by the commotion._ _

__“Tara!” Dawn rushed over to the pregnant woman’s side, seeing the blood on her hands and the pale look on the witch’s face._ _

__Buffy looked around the bathroom, taking in the whole scene “What’s happened in here?!”_ _

__“Buffy…it was an accident. Oh god…I didn’t mean…I didn’t mean to hurt her” Willow was distraught, hardly able to get a word out._ _

__Buffy had no words, she could see Willow had used magic and she couldn’t believe she had hurt someone again in this way._ _

__“I think we need to take her to the hospital” Dawn said, as she held a towel to the back of Tara’s head._ _

__“Let’s go” Buffy went to help Tara up, not wanting to waste any time._ _

__Willow started to follow the three other women out of the bathroom, but Buffy stopped her._ _

__“Will, you need to stay here. We’ll deal with this once Tara is taken care of, but for now you need to stay away from her”_ _

__“Buffy, no, it was an accident…I have to…”_ _

__“Haven’t you done enough!” Dawn added angrily._ _

__Tara couldn’t even look at Willow, as she let Buffy and Dawn lead her out of the house._ _

__Once Willow heard the front door close, she collapsed onto the floor and started sobbing uncontrollably._ _

__\----------_ _

__A few hours later, Giles heard a knock at his apartment door.  
The watcher cautiously opened the door, unsure who would be coming by his apartment right now. He had already said his goodbyes to everyone last night and they had all promised they wouldn’t make a scene at the airport this time. _ _

__“Willow, what are you doing here? I’m just about to leave for the airport. My flight to England is in two hours.”_ _

__“I know, you’re going to take me with you.”_ _


	10. Three Years Later

Giles was riding his horse through the English countryside. Since moving back to England, Giles had come to cherish his weekend rides. The crisp air and rolling green hills helped him to relax. 

Giles looked at his watch and realised he had to start making his way back to the house. Willow would be finished packing by now and Giles was taking her to the airport. 

When the watcher arrived home, he made his way to the spare room that Willow had occupied for the last three years. Giles was surprised to find the redhead seemingly unpacking her suitcase. 

“I’m not going Giles, I’ve changed my mind” Willow was making piles on the bed of clothes she was hastily moving out of her suitcase.

“Oh Willow, we’ve talked about this…it’s time” Giles took a seat on the end of the bed, prepared to enter into another lengthy dialogue with Willow about her inevitable return to the U.S. 

“It’s too soon. I left to protect people, it would be selfish to go back now”

“Willow, you aren’t the witch you were when you left. You have mastered your powers in a way that you should be proud of. You can control and practice your magic appropriately, it’s time. The Witch’s Council agreed.”

Willow sighed deeply as she picked up a teddy bear from her suitcase, she fiddled with the beefeater costume it wore.

Giles could see it wasn’t just the magic that Willow was worried about. When Willow decided to leave for England with Giles, when Willow returned to America she would be meeting her daughter, Emily, for the first time.

“She’s going to be excited to meet you” Giles tried to reassure the witch. 

“What if she’s heard all these horrible things about me, what if she’s afraid of me?” Willow groaned, pulling the bear up to cover her face. 

“She’s only ever been surrounded by people who love you Willow”.

“Yeah maybe not her mother so much.” 

Willow hadn’t spoken to Tara since she left the pregnant woman. Willow had tried to call the Tara many times during the first year she spent in England, but Tara had made it clear that she didn’t want to talk to Willow, so over the last two years Willow had stopped trying. The only contact she had with her ex-girlfriend was the occasional email containing some photos and updates on Emily. 

“Willow, the only way your daughter will know you, is if you go to her. Yes, it won’t be easy facing everyone, but you cannot hide from your life forever”.

“What if she hates me?” Willow sank down to sit next to Giles, as the watcher put his arm around her shoulder. 

“She’s just a child…”

“I meant Tara, she might hate me” Willow corrected. Not a day went by that Willow didn’t think about and miss Tara. She had banished herself to England for Tara, to protect her and to grow for her. She still loved her ex and it hurt her so much to think that Tara might not love her back anymore. 

“Maybe. Can you handle it, for Emily?” Giles asked honestly.

Willow stood up and placed the teddy bear back in the suitcase before she started repacking the clothes on the bed with a renewed sense of determination. 

“I guess I have to, for Emily.” 

Sunnydale, California…

Tara sat on her bed in the Summer’s house. She looked over the piece of paper she had just fished out from the bottom of her bedside drawer. She hadn’t looked at it for a while. When Willow first left she would read the words on it over and over again trying to understand what had gone so wrong; _I can’t be around to hurt you or the baby anymore. I’ve gone with Giles to England. I love you, I am so sorry. Willow _.__

__Tara was lost in thoughts of that night, when she had returned from hospital. She had needed a couple of stiches, but overall her and the baby were fine, physically at least. It wasn’t until she got home and found the note that she knew Willow had left._ _

__Tara heard Buffy and Emily arriving downstairs and quickly shoved the note back in the drawer._ _

__Buffy and Emily were returning from a visit to the playground, something they would often do on Sunday afternoons._ _

__Buffy was like an Aunt to Emily, or sometimes even a surrogate mother. Buffy had insisted that Tara stay at the Summer’s house after Willow left, so that her and Dawn could help when Emily arrived. Tara was thankful for the help, as young single mother it hadn’t been easy. Buffy was thankful for the chance to be so close to her best friend’s child and to help protect her. Buffy also appreciated the company of Tara and Emily, especially since Dawn left for college earlier in the year._ _

__“Hey you two” Tara said as she made her way downstairs._ _

__“Mommy!” Emily exclaimed and ran into her mother’s arms._ _

__“Hey Tar, how was Mommy alone time?” Buffy asked._ _

__“It was OK, I missed this one though. How was the park?” Tara replied, stroking Emily’s long red hair as the girl hugged her neck._ _

__“I found rocks!” Emily said excitedly as she wriggled out of her mother’s arms. Sticking her hands into her pockets and pulling three pebbles._ _

__“Sorry, she insisted on taking them home” Buffy apologised._ _

__Tara just smiled sweetly, “Wow sweetie, they are so great. Hey, why don’t, you go put them in your room and then I’ll be up soon to give you a bath.”_ _

__Emily ran up the stairs, eager to find the perfect spot in her room to put the rocks._ _

__“So, tomorrow’s the big day” Buffy said, trying to act casually._ _

__“Yeah, it’s not something I could easily forget” Tara sighed._ _

__“I’m sorry Tara, I know this must be hard” Buffy reached out to stroke her friends arm to comfort her._ _

__“I still don’t really believe that she’s coming back” Tara looked like she could burst into tears any moment, but she held back. She had promised herself she had shed her last tear over Willow Rosenberg._ _

__“I know, it’s been so long. Have you said anything to Emily?”_ _

__“She knows a friend is coming who wants to meet her. That’s it. What did Willow say when you spoke to her?” Tara knew that Buffy spoke to her best-friend every week since she had been away. Buffy had gone to England with Xander a couple of times to visit Willow and Giles._ _

__“She’s excited, scared, sad. She has a job interview lined up at a tech company, so that’s good. And she’s doing really well with the magic stuff. She’s powerful, but deals with it differently, more like…you”_ _

__“I’m glad…It’s just, after…everything that happened it’s hard for me to think of her practicing and not be nervous. There’s also a part of me that’s still so angry about how she left us.”_ _

__“I think she just tried to do what she thought was the right thing…” Buffy stopped herself, knowing the witch didn’t need to hear excuses right now._ _

__“Is she staying at Xander and Anya’s?” Tara changed the subject._ _

__“Yeah she’s staying with them until she finds a more permanent place I guess” Buffy replied._ _

__Tara nodded, “You never told her about Sam, right?”_ _

__“No, of course not. You told me not to, so I didn’t” Buffy reassured the witch._ _

__“But talking about Sam, how is she taking all of this? I can’t imagine having your girlfriend’s ex and mother of her child coming back into town is exactly easy on her either.”_ _

__“She’s…Sam. Acting like it doesn’t bother her but I think it does.” Tara fiddled nervously with the hem of her shirt._ _

__“Mommy, we gonna do a bath!?” Emily called from upstairs, interrupting the conversation._ _

__“You go, I’ll get dinner started” Buffy offered._ _

__“Thanks, Buffy” Tara made her way up the stairs to get the bath started for Emily._ _

__As Buffy walked toward the kitchen she muttered to herself “If you think Sam’s bothered, wait until Willow finds out…”_ _


	11. Arrivals

Xander, Buffy and Anya stood at the airport arrivals gate. 

“When is she going to get here, my arms are getting tired” Anya complained and she held up a sign that read ‘Welcome Home Willow’ in glittery letters. 

“Her flight landed twenty minutes ago, she must be held up at customs” Xander replied, looking over the arrivals board. 

“They probably caught her trying to smuggle in eye of newt or something, that stuff is much cheaper in England.”

“Anya, let’s not start on the magic stuff OK” Xander appealed. 

“Oooh I see her!” Buffy exclaimed, excitedly gesturing towards the redhead who was pushing a luggage trolley towards the group. 

“Hey guys” Willow said nervously, unsure how her arrival was going to be received. 

“Get over here!” Buffy pulled the witch into a hug, “I’m so glad you’re home”.

Willow closed her eyes and sighed as she heard the word _home _.__

__“Hey! Don’t hog her” Xander said as he pulled Willow away from the slayer and into another intense hug._ _

__“I missed you guys too” Willow said as she was squished towards Xander’s chest._ _

__Once Xander released Willow, Anya gave the redhead a far more restrained but still warm hug “Willow your hair is so long, you really went all lipstick lez over there, didn’t you?”_ _

__“Good to see you too Anya” Willow replied, rolling her eyes._ _

__“C’mon Will, let’s get you out of here. You must be tired from your flight” Buffy linked her arm with her best friend and started leading her towards the car._ _

__“I’m exhausted, but I want to catch up with all you guys. I’ve been waiting so long to see you all” Willow rested her head on the slayers shoulder as she reached out to grab Xander’s hand._ _

__“And your child, I bet you will want to see her. I mean it’s crazy, I’ve met your daughter and you haven’t” Anya added._ _

__“Anya!” Xander and Buffy chided._ _

__Willow cleared her throat “No it’s ok…Ah…yeah, not today…Tara sent me an email telling me she would meet me at the Espresso Pump tomorrow”_ _

__“Well Will, that just means we have you all to ourselves tonight” Buffy gave Willow’s arm a squeeze._ _

__The next day…._ _

__The Espresso Pump hadn’t changed much, Willow thought to herself as she scanned the café and played nervously with the teddy bear on her lap._ _

__She hadn’t slept much the night before, spending most of the night catching up with Xander, Anya and Buffy. Even when she did go to bed her nerves about today stopped her from getting much shut eye. She took a sip of her coffee, hoping it might perk her up a bit but it just made the butterflies in her stomach worse._ _

__Then she saw her, crossing the road outside the café. Willow couldn’t believe how beautiful Tara looked, somehow even more beautiful than when Willow had left. Her hair was a bit longer than when Willow had last seen her, with honey blonde highlights near the ends. The angles of her face seemed sharper too, her cheekbones somehow more pronounced. She looked almost ethereal. Willows mouth went dry. Then Tara was in the café, walking towards Willow._ _

__“Willow” Tara said, like she couldn’t believe the redhead was really in front of her._ _

__“Tara” Willow replied softly._ _

__Willow wondered for a moment if she should get up to hug her ex, but figured not when Tara quickly sat down at the small table._ _

__“I got you a Mocha, hope you still like them” Willow pushed a cup towards Tara. Tara simply nodded._ _

__It took a moment for Willow to register that Tara had come alone, “Where’s…”_ _

__“Emily is with Buffy” Tara interrupted abruptly._ _

__“Oh” Willow said as she tried to subtly drop the teddy on her lap into the handbag by her feat._ _

__Tara sucked in her lips, “I’m sorry Willow, I just needed to see you first before I…”_ _

__“No, no you don’t need to explain. I get it.” Willow felt a lump forming in her throat and tried to swallow it down._ _

__There was an awkward silence between the two women._ _

__“So how is she doing…how are you doing?” Willow asked tentatively._ _

__“She’s doing really great, she’s an amazing kid. And I’m…doing better” Tara took a sip of her Mocha._ _

__“How are you doing Will?” Tara asked._ _

__“That’s a complicated question” Willow looked into her coffee cup as she gave it a stir, unsure how to go about answering Tara._ _

__“Well I’ve got time.”_ _

__Willow looked up at Tara’s blue eyes, softer now than a moment ago. The redhead relaxed into her seat a little and began talking “Well England was pretty intense…”_ _

__The two women chatted for about two hours. Each taking turns filling the other in about what their life had been like for the last three years._ _

__Willow shared how she had tried to get the Witches Council to take her power from her, but they had refused and instead taught her to control the power she held. Tara asked her lots of questions about this, seeming sceptical at times, which Willow was understanding of._ _

__Tara mostly talked about Emily and showed Willow some more photos from her wallet. She also told Willow about the night classes she had been taking to finish her college degree while she worked at the Magic Shop with Anya a few days a week._ _

__“But you got the money I sent?” Willow asked, feeling guilty that Tara had sacrificed so much to raise their daughter on her own._ _

__“Yeah Will, I got the money. Thank you, it helped. But, I like working at the Magic Box. I’ve actually switched to a business major and Anya and I have talked about me becoming a part owner of the shop when I graduate” Tara said proudly._ _

__“Really, you’d be great at that!” Willow smiled and placed her hand on top of the brunettes. She knew she had made a mistake when Tara quickly pulled her hand away. In the ease of conversation Willow had forgotten for a moment that Tara had not forgiven her for what she had done._ _

__“Sorry, I just…” Willow started to explain._ _

__“I’m s-seeing someone” Tara blurted out, “Her names Sam and…I guess you’ll meet her eventually so I should just tell you now”._ _

__“Oh… How long have you been together?” Willow couldn’t stop the devastated expression on her face._ _

__“About a year” Tara replied, unable to look her ex-girlfriend in the eyes._ _

__Willow felt like she was going to throw up. She couldn’t believe that Buffy or Xander hadn’t told her that Tara was seeing someone._ _

__“I’m happy for you Tara you deserve to be happy and cared for and I think it’s great that you...”_ _

__“Look we don’t have to talk about this, I just thought you should know. Maybe we should just focus on you meeting Emily and how we want that to happen.” An uncharacteristic steeliness returned to Tara’s demeanour._ _

__“O-OK. So, I can meet her?” Willow said hopefully._ _

__“She’s your daughter Will, I’m not going to keep her from you. I just wanted to talk to you and work out some ground rules first”_ _

__“Ground rules?”_ _

__“I mean, she doesn’t know you’re her other mother and I think it might be confusing for her if I try and explain that before she meets you. I mean I didn’t know if you were ever coming back, so I didn’t know what to tell her about you.”_ _

__“I see” Willow looked back into her coffee cup, “Well maybe I can meet her first and then we can tell her together.”_ _

__Tara nodded, “How about you come by the house tonight, for dinner?”_ _

__“Really?! Yeah I would love that”_ _

__“OK, come by at six. Then you can give her that cute teddy bear in your bag”_ _

__“Oh, you saw that huh?” Willow squirmed a bit in her seat, “Do you think she’ll like it?”_ _

__“She’ll love it Will”._ _


	12. Wiwo

Willow stood staring at the front door of the Summers’ house. It was so strange to be a guest again in this home, the place her and Tara had lived in together for so long. She pulled awkwardly at her clothes, trying to work up the courage to knock on the door. 

“You gonna spend the night out here or are you going to go inside?”

Willow jumped in shock, turning to her left to find the blonde slayer at her side. 

“Don’t do that Buffy, you scared me!”

Buffy laughed “No, I think you were being all scaredy-cat well before I got here. C’mon Will, I know you can do this.”

Willow nodded at her friend as she took a deep breath in. 

Buffy opened the front door and guided her friend into the home. 

“Tara, Willows here!” Buffy called out. 

“I’m going to go get dinner started and leave you guys to it” Buffy stated.

“No…Buffy wait” Willow started, but Buffy was already out of sight. 

Willow stood nervously by the door clutching her bag, trying to steady her shaky hands. 

“Hey Will” Tara greeted Willow as she descended the stairs holding the redhead child in her arms. 

For a moment Willow thought her heart was exploding. She had seen pictures of Emily before, but that hadn’t prepared her for seeing the young girl in person and in the arms of the love of her life. 

Willow opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. 

“Emily this is Willow, remember we talked about Willow and how she has come all the way from England to meet you?”

“I don’t know” Emily said sleepily, the little girl looked like she had just woken up from a nap. 

“Hey Emily, it’s nice to meet you” Willow managed to get out as she smiled warmly at the young girl. 

“Hi” Emily said as she rubbed her tired eyes. 

“Willow is going to have dinner with us” Tara told Emily.

Emily shyly buried her head in her mother’s neck. 

“Sorry she just got up from a nap, she’s a bit tired” Tara explained.

“Emily, I got you a little present. Do you like teddy bears?” Willow asked as she pulled the bear out of her bag. 

Emily’s head snapped up as she looked at the toy wide-eyed “Wow!”

“I’ll take that as a yes” Willow giggled as she handed the young girl her present. 

“Emily, what do we say to Willow?” Tara reminded her daughter.

“Fank you Wiwo” Emily said sweetly as she hugged the teddy bear. 

Willow smiled, she knew she had won the young girl over.

“Wiwo has Emy’s hair” Emily said curiously as she pointed at Willow’s red hair. 

Willow looked nervous for a moment, unsure how to respond. 

“You’re right Emily, Willow has beautiful red hair just like you” Tara said, giving Emily a kiss on the cheek. 

Willow felt her face flush. 

“How about I help Buffy with dinner and Emily you can show Willow your new swing set” Tara suggested.

“Yeah!” Emily said excitedly, wriggling out of her mother’s arms.

For the second time that night Willow felt like her heart might explode as Emily’s tiny hand grab her own. 

“I would love to see your swing set” Willow said as she allowed herself to be led out the back through the kitchen by the young girl. 

Tara sighed as she entered the kitchen where Buffy was preparing dinner. 

“You’re doing the right thing Tara” Buffy said, as though she could read the witch’s mind. 

Tara looked out the open back door, where she could see Willow already pushing Emily on the swing “I know. I’m just not used to sharing her.” 

\------

Dinner had been pleasant and light-hearted. Emily spent most of the time chatting Willows ear off, wanting to tell her new friend everything about her life. Tara kept trying to get Emily to be quite long enough to have a few bites of her food. Willow was delighted that Emily had inherited her ability to babble. 

After dessert Buffy made some excuse about needing to get an early start on patrolling, leaving Willow and Tara to have ‘the talk’ with Emily. 

“Hey Emily, Willow and I wanted to talk to you about something” Tara said as she pulled the young girl to sit between her and Willow on the couch in the lounge room. 

Tara looked towards Willow, silently asking permission to continue. Willow gave a subtle nod. 

“You know how I told you that you were made from a part of me and that’s why I’m your mommy?”

Emily nodded. 

“Well you weren’t just made from a part of mommy. You were made from a part of mommy and Willow, we made you together” Tara looked into her daughter’s eyes to see if she was registering what she was being told.

“Wiwo helped you make me?” The young girl asked.

“Yes, baby. Willow helped me make you.”

Emily nodded, “Tommy, has a daddy who helped his mommy make him” 

“That’s right baby” Tara smiled at her smart daughter, then she turned to Willow to explain, “Tommy is Emily’s friend from playgroup”.

“Is Wiwo going to live with us and take care of me like Tommy’s daddy?” Emily asked innocently. 

_‘I wish Emily, I wish’ _Willow thought to herself as she let Tara answer.__

__“Well not exactly, but you might spend a bit more time with her” Tara looked towards Willow inviting her to jump into the conversation._ _

__“Would you like that Emily, to spend some time together and get to know each-other?” Willow asked the young girl as she smiled kindly at her._ _

__Emily nodded, “You can take me for ice-cream Wiwo, Mommy doesn’t let me have it lots, but Thander does.”_ _

__Tara and Willow tried to stifle their laughs._ _

__“Umm let’s see about that kiddo, but I’m really excited to get to spend time together and do all kinds of fun things” Willow gave the young girls leg a squeeze._ _

__“OK baby, I think it’s your bed time. Why don’t you say goodnight to Willow?”_ _

__The young girl reached over and wrapped her arms around the redhead witch, “Goodnight Wiwo.”_ _

__“Goodnight Emily” Willow replied, as she instinctively gave the young girl a brief kiss on the top of her head._ _

__As Emily pulled back, Willow quickly wiped a stray tear from her eye not wanting Emily to see that she was so emotional._ _

__Tara pulled Emily into her arms “Will, do you want to wait here while I put her down?”_ _

__“Sure”._ _

__As Willow waited for Tara to return, she walked over to the fireplace and examined the photos on the mantle above it. She smiled when the first photo she saw was of her, Buffy and Xander. The three best friends were laughing on the lawn of Sunnydale High._ _

__The next photo was of Tara, Buffy, Dawn and a moths old Emily having a picnic at the park. She felt a pang in her chest, thinking how she would never get the chance to hold Emily as a little baby._ _

__The third picture on the mantle was of Tara and a woman who Willow didn’t recognise. The redhead picked up the framed photograph to inspect it closer. The mystery woman was pretty, with shoulder length wavy blonde hair and hazel eyes. Willow could see that the blonde woman had her arm around Tara’s waist and she thought that this must the girlfriend Tara told her about earlier. Suddenly the redhead felt self-conscious about looking at this photo, but before she had a chance to put it back on the mantle she heard Tara enter the room._ _

__“She’s asleep already, must have been…What are you looking at?” Tara asked._ _

__Willow turned around as she tried to hide the picture behind her back. But she quickly realised that Tara could see she had something behind her back._ _

__“Sorry, I was just looking at the pictures” Willow awkwardly placed the picture in her hand back in its place._ _

__“Is that your girlfriend?”_ _

__“Yeah, that’s Sam” Tara answered, her voice barely above a whisper._ _

__“She’s pretty” Willow said honestly._ _

__Tara gave an awkward smile before changing the subject “So that seemed to go well, with Emily”_ _

__“She’s wonderful Tara, and you’re wonderful, the way you are with her. I mean I always knew you would a great mother, but you have done such a good job with her. And letting me be here and be a part of her life, I know it couldn’t have been easy to forgive me for what happened”_ _

__“I haven’t forgiven you” Tara replied matter-of-factly._ _

__Willow began to fidget with her hands “Oh, I just thought that with you letting me be here and telling Emily about me”_ _

__“I used to look at her…Gods she looks so much like you Will…I used to look at Emily and just think about how mad I was that you left us, left her”_ _

__Tara paced the room as she continued “Then I realised the anger I felt towards you was getting in the way of me being the mother I had to be for her. So, I promised myself that I would never let my feelings about you and what you did get in the way of me doing what’s right for my daughter.”_ _

__Tara stopped pacing and faced her ex “I think my daughter deserves to know her other mother and to make her own decisions, when she’s old enough, about your role in her life. I’m not going to deprive her of the chance to have a relationship with you. But Willow, that does not mean I’ve forgiven you.”_ _

__Tears welled up in Willow’s eyes “I’m sorry Tara, I don’t know how I can make you believe that I am truly sorry about everything that happened. But every day I spent in England was for you and Emily, so I could come back here and be…”_ _

__“Will, you made choices that meant that you couldn’t be here for us, choices you made before you decided to go to England” Tara interrupted._ _

__“I was scared and I was stupid, I let Amy…” Willow started to explain before she was cut off by Tara again._ _

__“Amy? Gods you can’t you even take responsibility for what happened that night?” Tara’s voice was raised._ _

__“Of course I take responsibility for that night Tara, I’m just trying to explain” Willow contended._ _

__“Willow it’s getting late and I think you should leave” Tara picked up Willow’s bag and handed it to her._ _

__“OK, I’ll go” Willow started to make her way towards the door, not wanting to get the brunette more upset._ _

__“Like I said Will, I’m not going to let this get in the way of your and Emily’s relationship. But as far as you and I...I’m just not at the forgiving and forgetting part. I don’t know if I’ll ever be” Tara’s tone was a bit softer now._ _

__Willow gave a defeated nod in understanding._ _

__“When can I see Emily again?” Willow asked tentatively._ _

__“We’ll be at the Scooby meeting on Tuesday, at The Magic Box. Xander usually takes her for hot chocolate after, I’m sure they would be happy for you to join” Tara suggested._ _

__“I’ll be there. Goodnight Tara”_ _

__“Goodnight Willow”_ _


End file.
